:: Babbler or not ::

:: 2004/03/07 ::

THE END OF THE AFFAIR

Watched a really nice film on TV last night, it brought out so many messages worth to think about. Of course it includes questions about God. It also includes questions about Hate & love, as the narrative is brought out by a book written by the lead actor, "a book of hate". I would say it's a book of pain too.

Quote from Maurice, "It is always good to write when you're in pain... for pain is so easy to wrote, but who would be able to write about happiness?"

From Sarah, "Don't go on fighting it, it is only Love after all."
:: Venus 11:35 AM [+] ::
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METEORS

A couple of nights ago i was star-observing outside my house, i sat there for 2 hours and managed to see 3 falling stars. Naturally, i wished upon the falling stars. Some of my friends told me i should not make wish to falling stars because i am a Catholic, and i should only believe in one God. True, i should believe in one God. But have you ever realised everything in this "world", including the Sun, the moon and all the stars are made by God? I believe in this and i think falling stars are Angels sent from God, they are so rare and so beautiful, not everyone can see them. So when i make a wish to a falling star, i am asking the star to send my message (my wish) to God. I know these Angels are kind enough to understand my feelings, and then help transmitting my wishes to God.

If we don't see this in a religious way, it's still good to see falling stars. You get to sit quietly outdoor, gaze into the dark sky with many stars shining above. You get to have a precious time to think, and the if you're lucky, you get to see those beautiful meteor. This is indeed delightful. It's full of hopes up there in the sky. Merry Christmas to you all, and may God bless all of you.
:: Venus 2:42 PM [+] ::
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LIVERPOOL

A peaceful Liverpool (Abnormal.....) is actually quite beautiful, not many drunk scousers, chilled air, Christmas lightings in the houses and a slight frost on the ground. I went out with friends and had a great night. I was kinda homesick these days, but not as much now. It's somehow great to be away from home, to experience something new, to meet new people, to see more of the world. I will definitely miss this when i start working in Hong Kong after my graduation, back to my old world, this tiny little dot on the world map. I am not saying Hong Kong ain't nice, it is really really nice and one of the most beautiful, and undoubtedly the best city in the world. But it's just that i do need more explosure...i am thinking...maybe...hmmm....anyway, my feets are frozen now...
:: Venus 1:46 AM [+] ::
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"Everything is easier than one thinks."
Goethe

Whenever in doubt, repeat this for 20 times.
:: Venus 12:28 PM [+] ::
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NOT A TYPICAL DAY?

A cold day with some frosts on the ground, slippery, but with plenty of sunlights. "European" winter weather. Not very typical for England. I came out of the house and immediately regretted wearing this not-warm-enough scarf. Anyway, i walked to University slowly, with my MD on. Not typical for me either.

I don't know why, i just wanna enjoy each and every step i walked. It felt really nice to walk in such a nice weather, though cold, but very comfortable. I know very clearly that this weather will not last for long, only for a couple of hours. And when it gets dark at around 4pm, it'll not feel the same anymore. But who cares what will it be like tomorrow? Sunshine again? Cloudy? Rainy? Or even Snow? All i know is that i had a really good mood walking to and back from University, cos of the weather? Or cos of something else? I don't know. I am just in a high spirit.

Not so typical for me in the past, but somehow typical for me lately. Well...
:: Venus 2:14 PM [+] ::
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THE END OF ONE CHAPTER, NOT CHAPTER ONE

Can't believe how fast i got through this sadness of breaking up. Not that i am completely over with it so soon, i only broke up yesterday for Christ's sake. It's not easy to believe the one who cared about you and loved you so much would turn around and want to leave you all of a sudden. But at least, i am not overwhelmed with sadness all the time.

I don't know how it works for others, but for me, breaking up each time teaches me one lesson. Some people would just ignore it and try to escape, but for me, i think things through and try to see what i can get from them. Though it's not my problem this time, and honestly, i still miss him a lot. I have come to understood that, whenever in a relationship, if one party's heart isn't in it to maintain, then it's time to let go. There's no point hanging around, torturing both of us. In this case, this was our ONLY option.

It's not that i am being pessimistic or something, i believe in fate, if we're meant to be together, no matter how many times we split, how difficult and how long it takes, fate will draw us back together. If not, then it's God's will. No point making myself a miserable person, which i had been before. This is not the first time i go through this, and i know there are still more to come. Staying relaxed and happy are the only good things i can do for myself at the moment. So, i'll stay cool. His loss.
:: Venus 4:04 PM [+] ::
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Going back

The same cold day one year ago; the same mood, same feeling; the same ME; the same way of walking. These all remind me of how a wound can never be cured. Although it's a different person this time...but the nervousness and the anxiety that surrounded me is exactly the same...I am really scared of this coldness, loneliness and restlessness.

The street was quiet, doors were all shut. Going back to a street which i used to go every day provoked a lot of memories. I know i can't complain how people and things change, and there's nothing i can do about it. But I just can't help drowning into the old memories, one year ago or one month ago, does it matter? I took a deep breath and walked home with the same road alone.
:: Venus 3:24 PM [+] ::
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